Read this if you wish to avoid abduction

Do not read this. There really are no aliens, right?

The Royal Family are bloodsucking alien lizards

According to Scotsman.com News - UK, David Icke (who also claims to be the son of God) says "The Royal Family are bloodsucking alien lizards". He also claims presidents George Bush (junior and senoir) are also a shape-shifting reptoid aliens that drink human blood.

Come on, no self respecting alien would pretend to be a politician, not even a reptoid.

Malaysian teams to track Bigfoot

According to ABC News Online, the Malaysian government is sending in teams to track 'bigfoot', who has been spotted several times recently.

I have to wonder why Sasquatch chose to vacation in Malaysia. True it's nice and green there, but the heat and humidity must be making him miserable. Can you imagine how bad he must stink in the jungle?

Fart Jokes?

According to Bizarre News:

I never dreamed that passing gas would re-place Queetzal as the number one topic of interest amongst our readership.

Noooooo! Say it isn't true Lewis! Fart jokes replacing yours truly? Never!

We Have Allies at Gmail!

Today when I looked in my Gmail trash folder there was a recycling tip at the top that said:

"You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil. "

I would like to add to that tip, however: give it a sniff first, if you don't want stray dogs following you around all day.

Pictures of Bigfoot

A backpacker on Silver Star Mountain has taken pictures of Sasquatch, maybe?