Secret Bases on the Moon and Mars

We are controlled. We are manipulated. THEY are not going to tell you that you are being controlled. But, we truly are. Where do people go to get their information? Actually it comes to us. In fact...we are bombarded, barraged and blitzkrieged by the holy media. Television, movies, magazines, the Internet and newspapers rain down upon us info. THEY own the media and the sad truth is THEY own us. This is not information, it is MIND-CONTROL.

Go check it out

QUEETZAL FOR PRESIDENT!!!

In the Bizarre News news letter, Teresa writes to Lewis --

QUEETZAL FOR PRESIDENT!!!

I hate to dissapoint one of Lewis's readers, but I cannot be president as I am an illegal alien. I can however rule as your alien overlord. I wonder if there's any chance of getting me on the ballot running as alien overlord.

Kidnapped by UFOs ?

NOVA examines the "phenomena".
Did you expect the truth from these people?

Bigfoot on About.com

About.com has a section on bigfoot.
Go check it out!

Protect Your Household with a Raygun!

Better Safe Than Sorry: Get yours today! heh!

That wasn't me! I never ask permission!

According to Bizarre News a UFO buzzed the Hilo Hawaii airport, prompting Lewis to comment:

Maybe Queetzal requested a fly-by and the tower boss told him, "That's a negative, Ghostrider, the pattern is full."

Heh, heh, that Lewis is a funny man.

All joking aside Lewis, I never ask permission when I buzz the tower.

Xena's now a planet

According to the Sydnet Morning Herald

The solar system has 12 planets, not nine.

That's the earthshaking conclusion of an influential international committee, which on Wednesday will recommend a new definition of what qualifies as a planet.

....

A planet, they decreed, is any star-orbiting object so large that its own gravity pulls in its rough edges, producing a near-perfect sphere.

The article goes on to exlain there are really 8 planets and a new class of planets called plutons.
Sounds like a cop-out to me -- answering the question by re-defining the question.
They are planets, but thet're not.

Second class planets? Can't be -- Xena 's 1st class in my book!

hat tip: Digg

Damn Lawyers

Family of dead miner offered £7 as lawyers earn £41m - Britain - Times Online

Gee, I wonder why people hate lawyers...

(hat tip to BoneheadOfTheDayAward.com)

UK says UFOs caused by natural forces, not aliens | Reuters.com

UK Ministry of Defense says UFOs caused by natural forces, not aliens.

Now that they've identified these flying objects they can no longer be called Unidentified Flying Objects.

There's nothing to see here, move along...

Read this if you wish to avoid abduction

Do not read this. There really are no aliens, right?

The Royal Family are bloodsucking alien lizards

According to Scotsman.com News - UK, David Icke (who also claims to be the son of God) says "The Royal Family are bloodsucking alien lizards". He also claims presidents George Bush (junior and senoir) are also a shape-shifting reptoid aliens that drink human blood.

Come on, no self respecting alien would pretend to be a politician, not even a reptoid.

Malaysian teams to track Bigfoot

According to ABC News Online, the Malaysian government is sending in teams to track 'bigfoot', who has been spotted several times recently.

I have to wonder why Sasquatch chose to vacation in Malaysia. True it's nice and green there, but the heat and humidity must be making him miserable. Can you imagine how bad he must stink in the jungle?

Fart Jokes?

According to Bizarre News:

I never dreamed that passing gas would re-place Queetzal as the number one topic of interest amongst our readership.

Noooooo! Say it isn't true Lewis! Fart jokes replacing yours truly? Never!