"You can make a lovely hat out of previously-used aluminum foil. "
I would like to add to that tip, however: give it a sniff first, if you don't want stray dogs following you around all day.
It's a 3-day grab and go kit in case of earthquake, cataclysm, insurrection, or whatever.
In the wake of Katrina, I'm thinking 3 days doesn't quite cut it. I better make it a whole week.
Have I left anything out? Tell me what.
Building a Disaster Kit:
If you go camping, you probably already have most of this stuff.
Just make sure you have all the supplies on hand before you need them. Gather up
your camping gear in one secure location. Buy supplies as if you're going camping
for a week, 12 months from now, but won't be able to buy supplies before you go.
- Lots and lots of water - one gallon per person per day, for me, my wife and the dog, That's nine gallons for a 3-day kit. Six gallon jugs will fit in one of those big plastic storage boxes. Keep it out of direct light or it will start growing algae.
A drop or two of bleach will extend the storage life of water in a jug.
Buy a couple of extra cases of bottled water when it's on sale, and rotate your stock,
even bottled water goes stale after sitting too long.
- Paper Towels
- These can double as toilet paper in an emergency.
- Three meals a day. For each person you need to feed.
You probably want to pack more than energy bars, but they will keep you alive in an emergency.
Canned fruit, Applesauce, Pringles (canned chips), cookies, canned meat. Don't forget the dog food.
Don't forget the can opener. Salt pepper sugar tabasco sauce.
- If you have any addictions, you should plan for them. I mean cigarettes, alcohol, coffee, whatever. You'll be having a hard enough time already, don't add withdrawl to your list of problems. Bring enough for more than a week, FEMA won't be bringin' you any booze.
- If you need them, pack them. Think of the consequences of not having your medicine.
Include antacids, aspirin...
- First Aid Kit
- You should have one of these anyway, the more complete the better.
You should keep one handy anyway.
- Plan for 3 days of the worse weather for your region.
- You might be able to sleep in your car, maybe not.
If you own a tent, keep it with your kit. Some tarps and ropes come in handy when building your wilderness survival compound.
If you're at home you may need that plastic sheeting and duct tape.
- Bring lots of it, everything will be much more expensive during a crisis.
Yes, it's very sad some people are so greedy they would take advantage of you when you're down on your luck. Some people really suck. That's life in the big city.
Plan on it.
- Implements of Destruction
- No, I'm not talking about WMD's. I mean a shovel, a pick, an axe, a saw, Vice Grips...
- Matches in a waterproof container, Candles, Flashlight, Lightstick, Radio, Batteries, Portable stove (sterno), Paper, Pencil, Duct tape, McGuyver Knife, Gloves, trash bags...
- The police will be too busy to protect you during a disaster.
Take responsibility for your own protection.
Does anybody not know what I'm talking about?
He's right, you should all lay down your guns and surrender.
Anybody at all?
Someone close to you maybe.
Perhaps a family member, like your mom?
That's what this head-shrinker says, he says your mother looks like yours truly!
I think you should take this as a supreme compliment, your mom is as good looking as Queetzal.
Personally, I don't see the the resemblance, but then all you mothers look alike to me.
Are you going to talk about it?
Think twice before you do.
You better be ready for the public humiliation you're going to face. You will be looked at as a hoaxer, a liar, a scam artist, someone who wants to sell their story for the maximum profit.
There are psychologists/psychiatrists who claim it's all a false memory, saying this is a common symptom of sleep paralysis. It's because of a overactive imagination combined with childhood sexual abuse. That's your Uncle Lester the molester you dream about, not Queetzal. Normal people don't get abducted, only weirdos. (IE: You must be a loony if you claim you were abducted.)
When's the last time you heard a story of alien abduction in the mainstream press where the writer was not mocking rednecks or hillbillies for claiming to be abducted by aliens.
"Hah-ha-ha, how come only inbred morons tell these stories? Hey Bubba, was that grey gal purty? Did she probe ya? buh huh huh!"
Keep it to yourself, or you'll be mocked until you're ready to commit suicide. After you do, everyone will know you were crazy all along,
The conspiracy is real, but even the conspirators don't know it!
Tags: Alien Abduction
is being closed as of November 30, 2005.
I can migrate to BlogHarbor for $8.95 a month.
From now on, this is my main blog.
Here's the text of the message:
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Not even 24 hours notice and I can no longer post, so I'll just have to call them rotten bastards from over here.
Whatever you do don't look at my poor dead cousin ralphie that that phony dead alien.
Hat tip to: blogcritics
They'd have to pry the gun out of my cold, dead hands after I shot the cruel heartless son of a freaking beyotch who told me to leave my best friend to starve to death. My dog means more to me than all the a-hole bureaucrats that ever lived.
Don't press your luck.
Do YOU have your emergency kit ready? Would you have enough food,
water, medicine, booze, etc. stocked up so you don't have to starve for
a week until help arrives?
Do you live below sea level, next to a river that floods every year, on
a coastline where hurricaines play? Can you swim? Sooner or later,
you'll have to.
There is a natural tendency among you silly humans to ignore the ugly probabities until they become ugly realities. Then you point the finger of blame at everybody else and ask, Why aren't you helping more, faster, yesterday?
I was gathering intelligence today, recieving earth bases satelite video transmissions. (I think you humans call it watching teevee.)
I saw there are thousands of people in New Orleans who desperately need help, and some of them are shooting at their rescuers! Guess who gets rescued last?
I came to this planet hoping to find an intelligent species in charge.
I'll have to report back to my superiors - this planet is devoid of intelligent life.
My favorite bizarre stories revolve around alien abductions. I read all
I can about this stuff (Queetzal, if you're reading, I think I love you!)
Well Jane, here I am.
Do you think I have a chance with an Earth chick?
I don't think any analysis (short of an autopsy) can prove Sasquatch exists, it can only prove that it's a clump of dog hair or something. After all, if it doesn't match any known animal, that still doesn't prove anything to the skeptics.
The eyewitnesses don't need proof, they already know what they saw.
I didn't find much at his website about the secret bases, so I looked around the internet and found this and this and this and this and this.
Now, I'm not saying which if any of these sites are correct in what they claim, but the truth is available to anybody who has a real good B.S. detector.
I just hope nobody's bagged him.
According to this article, he's been stolen.
Sasquach called me today, and asked me if I could use a little of that alien mind control on those reporters, convince them to stay in Hollywood.
I told him mind control works only on minds. These guys are from Fox, ok? Do you see the lack of a target here?
Hey c'mon, he says, I don't want to end up stuffed in a museum somewhere! You gotta help me out here.
I told him to get on over to his lady friend's house in town, stock up on plenty of beer, and wait till it blows over.
I can't go back there, she's really mad at me. She said if I showed my face around there she'd skin me and make a rug outa my hide!
Yes, that sounds like she's really mad at you. Why?
I didn't do anything..
C'mon Sasquatch! It's me Queetzal, you're talking to. What was it?
You ate all the food in the house didn't you?
Yea, but I always do that.
And then what did you do?
I ate her dog.
Why did you eat her dog?
Cause I couldn't catch the cat. and well, cats don't have much meat on 'em anyway and--
Look I don't want to hear about your strange appetites...
Okay. I'll come pick you up and bring you back here to area 51, but remember, NO BITING THIS TIME! The general is still walking with a limp from the last time you were here.
Okay, he says, I'll behave myself, as long as the beer holds out.
Don't worry, buddy, they fly it in by the planeload...
Lots of interesting fun stuff over there; aliens, conspiracies, modern day dinosaurs, sasquatch, and more.
The site isn't espacially sympathetic to my people, however, or very accurate. We do not eat children.